Deadly Force (Libby)

 

Libby

 

 

Height 5'1.5"Weight 147 lbs
Goal 127 lbs
Fitness Goals: Run a half marathon
Keep the weight off
Stay consistent
Improve my run time
Food Goals: Log all food

In the Navy I did a security rotation and one of the duties during this detail was guarding the front gate of the military installation .  It is exactly as it appears in the movies except instead of an M16, I carried a 9mm on my hip.  There is a small guard house at the entrance, the military guard steps outside, stops the approaching car and checks their identification.  Sometimes we had someone that was lost or curious and they were told to turn around.  But what if someone wanted to run the gate?  Well we had countermeasures that we could deploy, the method of protection was considered deadly force and was only to be used as a last resort.  The protocol was, if a car was approaching and appeared as though it was not stopping, there was a large red button that the guard pushed. It triggered a an enormous steel wall that would instantly crush the car upon impact.  The car would never make it past the gate and the likelihood of survivors was, well, not likely.  So why am I telling you all of this...this week, out of nowhere, the wall of steel was deployed on me, I survived but barely. 

I was so excited to write for the Driven. blog, to share my goals with you, share my story, struggles, etc.  Sunday night I was pumped, "lets do this", YEAH! turning those roadblocks into dust!!! WHOO! Monday, I was a little less but still like Whoooooo, yeah!  I thought I'm pretty tired, I think I'll work out tomorrow, long weekend.  I have the rest of the week, uh-huh.  Tuesday came, OH NO, my back is out, my body aches, I want to sleep every chance I get... my drive, my WHOOOO is gone!  I'm physically exhausted, going through the motions, doing the bare minimum.  I think I did have a virus, I was run down and needed the rest.  If I was really honest with myself this evening, I could have been better sooner if my attitude wasn't so awful.  My negative, this week is lost, I didn't lose weight, I'm a slacker, insert more mean self-talk attitude contributed to my overall malaise.  The downward spiral went through the weekend but it didn't have to.  Have you ever been there? 

During my super downer of a week, it was actually an uplifting experience, I just did not see it at the time.  I had many friends reach out to me when they did not see me at my usual sporting events, responding on the Driven. support group, or acting like my usual self.   One of my friends said, "give yourself some grace".  I knew she was right, but I didn't want to.  In my mind, I didn't deserve it.  My 3 kids, David, Bella, and Ava were unusually sweet and helpful this week, coincidence? I think they were taking care of their mama.  My husband recognized my need to take a break and just without question took over my duties, he even did girl hair!  Of course, it is time for me to get my big girl pants back on, pull myself up by my bootstraps, get out of that funk, reach for the sky, go for the gold, a little hair of the dog (oh wait, that last one...no, that doesn't seem right :))

 

 

 

So even though I told you that sad story, I still got up Saturday morning threw some Ibuprofen down my throat and made it to the Zumbathon at the Eastern York Middle School with my girls.  They were shy at first, but they started getting into it once they played a Taylor Swift song, let's hear it for some Tay Tay. 
Then we headed to Spring Grove to watch my son and nephews play in a lacrosse tournament in Spring Grove -all day-just sayin'.  They played awesome and placed 4th in their age group. 

Finally on Sunday, we went to a friend's house for a lovely dinner.  That is really when I started to feel less like the walking dead and more like Libby again. 


I was happy for them, but I wish I had not felt so deflated.  I put absolutely no effort into my appearance, what food I ate, or how engaged I was with my family.  Just to sort of break that down for you NO GOALS WERE MET, Yeah.. none....oh wait there was that... one.. time...no I'm wrong that was someone's status update on Facebook.

SO the idea is to share our successes and struggles, well this week was a struggle overall.  I'm not even going to weigh myself, I would really just be going through the motions.  :) I'll start on Monday..."Hey Hon, any brownies left."