Truth!

Denise

HEIGHT:: 5’8”

STARTING Weight on 4-25-16 : 208

TODAY’S Weight: 194

GOALS:  Fit comfy into any size 12, no muffin top and with a tight shirt!

Establish playtime on a daily basis that helps me achieve a strong body. Break old habits!

MOTIVATION and SUPPORT:  My husband, my family, my friends and my Lord.

TRUTH!

PANDA LOG 09.08.2016

Sometimes there is a time in life, even at age 48, that you come to terms with your truth. I’ve had to do this lately and it has not been easy. Things of the past have had to be dealt with and it has been bittersweet. There is something that seems easier about running away from deep emotions but sooner or later they come back and bite you in the ass. I've been more honest with these feelings in the last week than I've ever been in my lifetime. It's not an easy road but I pray that it's the road that leads to great recovery. I pray that I can be strong, stay true to honest feelings and finally be free of the things that has had me on the run. What this means to my emotional eating is somewhat of a roller coaster. Some days I barely eat and some days I pig out. As I stand firm in living the rest of my life in complete honesty I also have to stand firm in not letting emotions control my eating patterns. I’m not there! Yesterday I ate three fudge covered vanilla ice cream bars and today I barely ate a thing. So here I am at over four months into my weight loss journey and dealing with issues that I’ve ran away from for a long time.. Over eating has always connected itself to my deep issues and that is something that I want to change once and for all.

Last week I made a new goal, getting under 195, I'm 194. To be honest I'm not ready to celebrate because I don't trust myself that I won't gain back all the weight I've lost. This is a true worry for me. I am not trusting myself to be strong and move forward but,  I feel I don't have a choice. If I go back, I lose. I lose my ground, I lose my focus, I lose so much.  So my next goal is to maintain my weight but maybe more importantly to maintain staying honest to myself and my worth.

At the end of the day with a life of turmoil, joy and everything in between all I desire is easy. I desire to live in strength, honesty and fun. Life is to short to not live it to the fullest. Now that I have all areas in my life to the most honest point that I can have them I feel that things can only get better, right?

In the midst of all the craziness, I've still moved my body somewhat on a daily basis. Have you moved today? ~Driven.

Peace,

Panda